Common Signs Your Child Needs a Psychologist
- nurturedthoughts
- Jan 2
- 8 min read
Seeing your child struggle emotionally can leave you feeling worried, overwhelmed, and unsure of what steps to take next. Maybe you have noticed your child becoming unusually quiet, easily upset, or resistant to things they once loved. Understanding the signs your child needs a psychologist can help you identify when it is time to seek professional support and guide your child back toward emotional wellbeing.
In Australia, 14% of children aged 4 to 17 experience a mental disorder in a 12 month period and anxiety disorders affect about 7% while major depressive disorder affects about 3% [1]. Yet many families delay reaching out, hoping their child’s difficulties will resolve on their own. This guide covers emotional, behavioural, and school related signs your child may need psychological support, provides tips on how to talk openly with your child about getting help, and explains why early intervention matters.
Emotional Signs Your Child Needs a Psychologist: Anxiety, Anger, or Withdrawal
Emotional struggles often appear first as subtle changes, but they can quickly escalate into deeper issues. If your child seems unusually anxious, persistently angry, or increasingly withdrawn, these may be signs your child needs a psychologist. You might notice anxiety as persistent worry about school, friendships, or daily activities, or recurring headaches or stomach aches with no clear medical cause. In Australian data, around 7% of children have an anxiety disorder and about 3% experience major depressive disorder [1].
Anger or irritability can be confusing because it is often seen as a pure behaviour issue. In children, irritability and temper outbursts are recognised presentations of depressive episodes in clinical practice guidance for general practice [2]. If your child suddenly begins having intense, frequent outbursts or irritability beyond typical frustration, it is a signal worth exploring.
Withdrawal from social interactions, such as avoiding friends, losing interest in hobbies, or keeping to themselves for more than 2 weeks, can also point to emotional distress and warrants timely review [3]. These changes are not simply moodiness, they can be important clues that your child is experiencing anxiety or depression.
Key signs include:
Constant anxiety or worries that affect daily life with physical symptoms like headaches or tummy aches [1,3]
Frequent anger or irritability that disrupts family interactions noted in children with depression [2]
Withdrawal from friends, activities, or family events lasting more than 2 weeks [3]
Hopelessness or negative self talk about themselves or the future that persists [3]
Behavioural Signs and Child Behaviour Concerns: Meltdowns, Defiance, or Regression
It is normal for children to test boundaries, but marked and sustained behavioural changes often suggest deeper emotional struggles. If your child’s behaviour consistently feels out of control, these could be signs your child needs a psychologist.
Very frequent, severe, or prolonged tantrums beyond the preschool years can indicate underlying distress and benefit from professional advice and a structured plan for calm consistent responses [4,5]. Persistent defiance and aggression also matter. Some disruptive behaviour relates to underlying conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or conduct disorder. National data show about 7% of Australian children have ADHD and about 2% have conduct disorder [1]. When these behaviours persist across settings and interfere with home or school life, assessment is appropriate.
Regression is another important sign to watch for. If your child suddenly begins bedwetting again after a period of dryness, becomes markedly clingy, or uses much younger speech patterns, these changes can reflect stress or emotional strain. Australian health guidance notes that relapse of bedwetting after a period of dryness can be a sign of stress and deserves attention and support [6].
Important behavioural signs to monitor:
Intense meltdowns beyond the expected age range, occurring often and hard to settle [4,5]
Regular aggressive or defiant behaviour at home or school with possible links to ADHD or conduct disorder 7% and 2% respectively [1].
Regressing to younger behaviours, such as clinginess or bedwetting with relapse often linked to stress [6]
Engaging in risky or self harming behaviours that require urgent professional input [4]
School Related Signs: Academic or Social Struggles
School is often where emotional struggles surface, so it is a key place to spot early signs your child needs a psychologist. Teachers may report distractibility or changes in participation. You may notice a sudden drop in grades, reduced motivation, or your child sharing worries about peers.
Australian linkage research with national survey data and NAPLAN shows that by Year 9, students with a mental disorder were 1.5 to 2.8 years behind peers in key domains, and students with ADHD or conduct disorder were up to 5 years behind in some tests [7]. These findings underscore why early recognition and support matter for learning and confidence. School refusal is also a recognised presentation of adolescent mental health concerns and should prompt a supportive plan with family, school, and health professionals working together [8,9].
School related signs include:
Sudden decline in grades or motivation with evidence that mental disorders are linked to substantial gaps in learning by Year 9 1.5 to 2.8 years and up to 5 years [7]
Regular complaints about attending school or frequent absences consistent with school refusal and anxiety [9]
Withdrawal from social activities and friends at school over weeks rather than days [8]
Teacher concerns about attention, behaviour, or mood changes that persist across classes [8]
How to Approach Your Child About Getting Support
Talking to your child about psychological support can feel challenging, but your approach sets the tone for how they view getting help. Aim to make your child feel safe, heard, and reassured. Australian guidance for parents and clinicians emphasises honesty, simple explanations about what therapy involves, and clear boundaries around confidentiality to build trust [10,11].
Choose a relaxed, calm moment to start the conversation. Mention what you have observed with caring language, then pause and listen. Explain that a psychologist is someone who teaches skills for managing big feelings, worries, and tricky situations at home or school. If your child is not ready to talk, let them know you will check in again soon and that professional help is available, including youth focused services and school based psychologists [12,13].
Helpful tips for talking about therapy:
Choose a quiet, calm moment to talk and state what you have noticed in simple language [12]
Reassure your child it is okay to have big feelings and that help is available [12]
Explain therapy simply and positively, including what will happen in sessions and how privacy works [10,11]
Invite your child’s questions and preferences about where and how to start [10]
When to See a Psychologist for Your Child: Why Early Intervention Matters
Knowing when to seek professional support can make a meaningful difference. If emotional or behavioural difficulties persist for more than 2 weeks, worsen rapidly, or significantly affect daily functioning, book an assessment with your GP or a child psychologist [3]. Early support is linked with better outcomes for mood, behaviour, learning, and relationships.
Despite need, service use remains uneven. In the most recent national survey period, about 56% of children and adolescents with a mental disorder had contact with services in the previous 12 months with about 48.9% for children aged 4 to 11 and 65.1% for those aged 12 to 17 [14]. These figures highlight a care gap and reinforce the value of seeking help early rather than waiting to see if difficulties pass on their own.
Trust your instincts. Noticing these patterns and acting early helps your child access the right support, at the right time.
FAQs: Signs Your Child Needs a Psychologist
When should behaviour concerns prompt psychological intervention?
When behaviour concerns are sustained, escalate, or cause marked disruption across settings. Consider assessment if there are patterns consistent with ADHD or conduct disorder which affect about 7% and 2% of Australian children respectively [1].
What school signs indicate my child needs support?
A sudden fall in grades, avoidance of school, or social withdrawal at school that persists over weeks signal concern. Students with a mental disorder can be 1.5 to 2.8 years behind peers by Year 9 and up to 5 years in some cases for ADHD or conduct problems [7].
Where can we get help, and what if we are not ready for therapy yet?
Start with your GP, school wellbeing team, or a registered psychologist. Youth focused services such as headspace offer information and support for people aged 12 to 25 and their families [12]. If you are monitoring changes, seek help promptly if symptoms persist beyond 2 weeks or rapidly worsen [3,13].
At Nurtured Thoughts Psychology, we understand how challenging it can be to watch your child struggle. Our psychologists work with children and families to provide tailored care that builds emotional skills and confidence. If your child’s difficulties feel significant, reaching out for a consultation can be the first step toward clarity and lasting change.
Disclaimer: This guide is general information, not a substitute for individual medical advice. Please consult your GP or specialist for personal care.
References
[1] Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. (2023). Australia’s children, Mental health. Canberra, ACT, AIHW. https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/children-youth/australias-children/contents/health/mental-health
[2] Royal Australian College of General Practitioners. (2017). Depression in children. Australian Family Physician, 46, 908 to 912. https://www1.racgp.org.au/afp/2017/december/depression-in-children
[3] Healthdirect Australia. (2024). Depression in children, causes, signs and how to help. https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/depression-in-children
[4] The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne. (2023). Mental health, infants and young children. https://www.rch.org.au/kidsinfo/fact_sheets/Mental_health_infants_and_young_children
[5] Raising Children Network. (2024). Self regulation and challenging behaviour, parents guide. https://raisingchildren.net.au/preschoolers/behaviour/understanding-behaviour/self-regulation
[6] Better Health Channel, Victorian Government. (2025). Bedwetting. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/bedwetting
[7] Goodsell, B., Lawrence, D., Ainley, J., Sawyer, M., Zubrick, S. R., and Hafekost, J. (2017). Child and adolescent mental health and educational outcomes, An analysis of NAPLAN results from the Second Australian Child and Adolescent Survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing. Perth, WA and Canberra, ACT, The University of Western Australia and ACER. https://www.telethonkids.org.au/globalassets/media/documents/research-topics/mental-health/camh-naplan-report.pdf
[8] The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne. (2024). Mental health, adolescents. https://www.rch.org.au/kidsinfo/fact_sheets/Mental_health_adolescents
[9] Be You, Australian Government. (2023). School refusal. https://beyou.edu.au/resources/mental-health-in-schools/school-refusal
[10] Australian Psychological Society. (2024). Children and young people. https://psychology.org.au/for-the-public/psychology-topics/children-and-young-people
[11] Australian Psychological Society. (2018). Engaging young people in therapy. InPsych. https://psychology.org.au/insights/inpsych/2018/december/engaging-young-people-in-therapy
[12] headspace National Youth Mental Health Foundation. (n.d.). Understanding anxiety and panic in young people. https://headspace.org.au/family/understanding-anxiety-and-panic-in-young-people
[13] Australian Psychological Society. (n.d.). Psychologists in schools, information for parents. https://psychology.org.au/for-the-public/psychology-topics/children-and-young-people
[14] Johnson, S. E., Lawrence, D., Haswell, M. R., and Zubrick, S. R. (2016). Service use by Australian children and adolescents with mental disorders, Findings from the Second Australian Child and Adolescent Survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 50, 881 to 894. https://doi.org/10.1177/0004867415622562
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